Only if you have suffered from the disease can you understand the extent to which food takes over your life. Someone I love dearly struggles with Anorexia – a nasty disease.
The ways to an eating disorder are many. Aspies are some of the people particularly at risk for such behaviour. Sometimes the eating disorder is the only control we have over what can feel like a chaotic and confusing life. We are certainly not the only ones who struggle with things like Anorexia, Bulemia, Overfeeding, Extreme eating routines and so on. Once you are caught in that prison, it is difficult to get out and like Baird says in her poem, people around you may end up making it even more difficult to escape.
Sometimes being Aspergers sucks royally. My brain has been in melt-down for months now. Thinking and writing feels like wresting my feet from mud. Coherency is optional.
I know why this situation has come about. It is one that cannot be changed but must be lived with until it resolves itself. That’s the thing with life. Sometimes we are in control and sometimes circumstances control us. As anyone knows who knows anything about Aspergers, predictability is incredibly good. When I have to go through longer periods of unpredictability, melt-down is inevitable.
This is one such period. Blogging has become impossible. I can tell my reviews and articles are impacted, and writing drags me further into the mud. I’m not giving up, but I am giving myself space to come back to some sense of control.